Unsure if you should send a card and gift?
For family and friends of someone who’s had a premature baby - especially if baby is poorly - it can be hard to know what to do for the best.
You only have to look in online forums and Facebook groups to see many people asking questions like ‘my friend’s baby was premature and is in hospital, should I send a New Baby card?’, ‘My cousin’s premature baby is really poorly, what should I write in a card?’, ‘Is it insensitive to send a Congratulations card and gift when baby is in the NICU?’...
In this article we answer these questions, show you the experience of parents of premature babies, and give you advice on what to write and where to buy prem specific baby cards.
Should you even send a new baby card and gift to parent's of a premature baby?
Firstly you most definitely should send a card and gift to someone who's had a very premature baby!
Too often, well-meaning friends and family delay getting anything for parents of a premature baby 'just in case', but these parents need support and messages of love even more than most.
In my time on the neonatal wards I've seen healthier babies and their parents surrounded by new baby cards and gifts, while babies in the NICU and SCBU have received very little and it's heart-breaking.
With so much specialist premature baby clothing now available it's not hard to find a great gift.
Mums say yes!
What do mums of premature babies say?
Look what these mums of premature babies said on Facebook about our cards and their own sad experiences of not receiving cards.
What should I write? (and not write) in a card to parents of a premature baby?
I have heard the opinions of many parents of very premature and poorly babies and all they really want is acknowledgement of their new arrival, kind reassuring words for parents and baby, and messages to know that people are thinking of them and are there for them.
Avoid writing messages like these
If the baby is very poorly then a typical message of 'congratulations' or 'new baby' isn't appropriate, but there's lots of other words to express what you want to say.
The one perhaps less obvious thing I would avoid is messages like "we are hoping to visit soon", because then the parents might feel that you are putting pressure on them at a time when they may want space. But you can still say that you are really looking forward to meeting the little one when the time is right.
Examples of appropriate messages
We hope you find these examples helpful when writing your card.
"Welcome to the world you little fighter, time to show Mummy and Daddy how big and brave you are even if that's not in size. Heaps of love little man/lady and also to Mummy and Daddy"
"Best wishes to you and your brave little fighter".
"Looking forward to meeting your lovely little boy/girl when he's/she's graduated from the NICU".
"We are wishing you and your little one lots of strength and good wishes for a swift homecoming".
"Keep strong and keep fighting, you have so much love around you and always will."
"Congratulations on becoming parents. I realise this will be a difficult time for you, but we're here for you if there's anything we can do for you".
"Just letting you know that we're thinking of you and your beautiful little baby and sending you all lots of love".
"Best wishes to you and your mini super hero."
"We can't wait to see you and your beautiful little baby, but we appreciate that visiting might not be appropriate for a while, so for the time-being please accept this gift with our love".
"Sending you lots of love, and please know that any time you want to talk I'm here for you".
Shop here
Where can you buy suitable cards and gifts for a premature baby?
As a premature baby clothing and gift specialist we have produced our own range of premature baby cards (and more typical new baby cards too). These cards have appropriate messages on the outside and are blank inside so you can write your own message.
If you'd like us to send your gift and card directly to your loved-one, you can type a message in the box on the Bag page and we'll hand write the message in the card for you before posting it.